School may not seem like a risky place but even long ago, before today’s reality of school violence, students had to be brave to manage the risks and challenges of their daily lives. Childhood is filled with new experiences and challenges that require young people to be vulnerable and brave, so how can we, as trusted adults, help them find the courage they need when they need it?
One fairly common example from a typical English curriculum is the requirement for students to present a 5–10-minute speech on a topic of their choice. Even though it’s been many years since I’ve been a student, I remember clearly the terror response this assignment caused in one of my fellow honor students. She wrote a great speech about empathy and shared it with the teacher. She told the teacher that she could not deliver the speech to the class because of what she called stage fright. She told the teacher that she had found another student in the class who was willing to read the speech to the class for her. The teacher told the student that under no circumstances could another student deliver the speech on her behalf. The student was told, “If you don’t deliver the speech, you’ll fail the speech portion of English class this year.”
The day of the speech, the student slowly walked to the podium, tear-filled eyes downcast, shaking wildly. She stood in front of the class for a long time trying to steady her body enough to speak. The teacher commanded her several times in a loud voice to begin. When the student began, her voice was an inaudible whisper. The teacher told her again and again to speak up or to just sit down. The student stopped and began to shuffle her papers. I feared she might quit in defeat, so I decided to pretend she had finished. I jumped to my feet and began applauding loudly. I never made eye contact with the teacher but kept clapping and shouting, “That was great!” The other students in class joined me in the standing ovation and the encouraging shouts.
At that moment, I knew that what I had seen that terrified student, and my fellow students do in that classroom on that day was bravery at its best. I thought about all that it must have required from my classmate to face the dread of the looming speech assignment from the day she first learned of it until the day she delivered it. Of course, I faced some consequences myself for my rallying of the ovation, but it was so worth it! It feels good to be brave!
Four tips for supporting bravery in children and teens
- One of the best ways adults can support bravery in children and teens is by modeling it in their adult lives. As caring adults, we are always watching out for the children and teens in our care. What adults often don’t realize is that children and teens typically watch us even more often and more intently than we watch them. After all, while children and teens are busy with school and activities, adults still usually have far more demands on their time. Starting fairly young, children and teens understand that it’s in their own best interest to figure out and understand their parents.
- Being brave is often difficult and even very brave people feel fearful. Let children and teens know you admire how they faced their fears and ask about what helped them to conquer their fears. When you know that a child or teen has chosen to be brave, celebrate it. Acknowledge their bravery… If they want to, let them share about their experience, even let them brag a bit.
- New experiences and situations in life often require children and teens to be brave. Try role playing how to start a conversation, how to approach someone, introduce oneself or ask a question.
- Emphasize being brave for the right reasons such as making friends, learning new things and helping others. Tell them, it’s not for showing off, teasing others or causing harm.
Written by: Betty Barsley-Marra, Senior Health Educator
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