For many students, their first experience with school-based sex education happens in fourth or fifth grade with a lesson(s) about puberty. While not widespread, some schools include age – appropriate sex education beginning in kindergarten. My first career was in early childhood education and I found it was common to have daily interactions with the children about their bodies.

As any parent or educator knows, children have a seemingly never – ending supply of “why” questions. My preschoolers very comfortably talked with me and each other about everything from their bathroom habits to picking noses. I welcomed these discussions as an opportunity for me to provide accurate health education, including sex education. Also, talking encouraged their natural curiosity about themselves and each other. The children learned the “science words” to discuss their bodies including the personal parts of their bodies. More than any other science, biology activities were what they chose to explore day after day. My three- to five-year-old students were curious about the world but most fascinated with learning about themselves. Their interest and drive to know about the science of bodies was free of self-consciousness or shame.

Somewhere between preschool and the later grades, that freedom from self-consciousness and shame can lessen and sometimes completely disappear. Attitudes about sexuality that children and youth are exposed to at home, from peers, in the media, and society in general are powerful influences. This leaves schools faced with the decision of whether to separate students by gender for sex education and if so, at what grade levels. Common reasons school leaders and parents offer for why students should be separated by gender include “so that students will feel more comfortable” and/or “more likely to ask questions.”

Let’s consider that long standing “best practice” in sex education is that the genders should learn together at the same time…as they did in my preschool example. Also, let’s consider that by the action of separating genders, we adults are sending a message to children and youth about our discomfort with sex education. Often in my experience, if students are gender separated for sex education, they express surprise and ask me why students are separated for this class and not any other class. I routinely share with adults that all that they fear will happen in a genders combined sex education class like teasing, uncontrollable laughter, inappropriate remarks or embarrassment rarely occurs. Students are usually engaged, respectful and mature.

Some Reasons to Choose Genders Combined Sex Education

• We all share the same planet. Seems like a fine idea that we learn as much about each other as possible. This will certainly make communication and building intimacy easier for friendships and someday romantic partnerships.
• Provides transparency of content. We all heard the same information. There are no concerns that there are “secrets” that the other class has learned.
• Families these days are configured in many ways. It matters that parents and older siblings, regardless of gender, know about periods, erections, and all other bodily functions. That way, any family member, teacher in school or friend can help another in need.
• While genders may gravitate toward the familiar, encouraging children and youth to learn with, spend time with and work with others beyond the familiar helps overcome any gender stereotypes. It eliminates us/them attitudes.
• No need to exclude any genders. Genders combined sex education means access to all across the gender spectrum.

Written by: Betty Barsley-Marra – Sr. Health Educator